For the past 3 days I’ve been out and on my feet. I don’t want to be the woman waiting on a husband by the window with a baby in the background, adding the sappy kind of tragic.
Ever since I married I made it a point not to dissolve myself in the roles I play. From being a wife, to an ‘in law’ for new relations, and an ‘out law’ to the old ones (appreciate my word play). It gets easy to lose yourself in the balancing act.
It starts small. Giving up interests your spouse might not share. Not cooking for yourself because it seems unnecessary. Not making new friends or not making enough time for old ones because you always have to be ‘someone’ to everyone. It’s a subconscious practice of ‘giving’ until there remains nothing to give.
And, one fine morning you wake up to a stranger in your own mind, resenting the very relations you prioritized over yourself.
Selflessness starts with yourself. It wasn’t/isn’t easy to accept that I am just as important, and require equal attention from myself. I am a people pleaser by nature so to make a conscious effort to prioritize my needs, as small or insignificant they might be to others, was challenging.
I am ME.
My individuality is a projection of what I expect from myself and how far I work towards maintaining them. It cannot be monetized, it cannot be overlooked, and it certainly shouldn’t be sacrificed.
He is my world, but I am a universe.
Originally posted to Instagram